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Original: 3/26/2008 11:47 PM
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

It's Not That I Have A Headache...

 Well now, it's been a while hasn't it?
I guess I don't write much at all anymore.
I ceased writing poetry along with my blog here.
And for the longest time, all I wanted to do was write, write and write.
So what to say? I've been under some deep depression since last december and it's really affected me to a great degree. I've been on the upswing a bit lately, but all it takes is some crummy weather and/or some sort of trial, great or small, that I don't seem to be able to deal with at all, and wham, I'm down.

On the spiritual side, I've described myself as the church of Ephesus... but I think there is more to it than that. I don't seem to be able to keep from my "pet" sins which just keep me in this constant state of down... spiritually that is.

Apathy seems to rule the day in my life and I seem to be in a constant state of defeat.
I know part of the problem, but it goes back to the apathy thing, being completely disengaged from everything going on around me. I know it's affecting my wife and kids and me and everything in and around me... and I'm overcome by it all, and the only way I deal with it is to disengage more.

It seems a vicious cycle that I can't get out of and I hate it all.

I would appreciate your prayers for my family, specifically my wife, for they are the ones that are suffering the most.
 Posted 3/26/2008 11:47 PM - 181 Views - 8 eProps - 8 comments

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You 2 are in my prayers.
Posted 3/27/2008 1:35 AM by lindadm Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - reply

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I will pray for you and your family.

Posted 3/27/2008 12:14 PM by pizza_on_my_brain - reply

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will keep you in prayers by brother. but having gone through what you just described before, I will tell you there is a way out.. and the way out does not lie just with God. God reaches his hands out to you, to bring you out of apathy, depression, and the resigned state of mind but we have to go to him, and reach out to him as well. Something are of the will, our own will.. you can fight it. and know that God will be there to pull you through, and help you fight.. but you have to take that step to fight. Do it for the sake of your loved ones, and yourself.


(p.s. read my latest post. i hope it helps.)

In his love,

Renny
Posted 3/27/2008 7:11 PM by drawyoursocks - reply

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@drawyoursocks - 

Thanks Bro.
Posted 3/27/2008 10:33 PM by Doomsayer2001 - reply

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@pizza_on_my_brain - 

Thanks.
Posted 3/27/2008 10:37 PM by Doomsayer2001 - reply

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@lindadm - 

Thank you.
Posted 3/27/2008 10:41 PM by Doomsayer2001 - reply

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So how're you doin', man? Have things improved at all? Praying for you, after reading the above. -L (I REALLY relate....nevertheless, God is good, and he remains faithful even when we are not....)
Posted 5/11/2008 9:13 PM by Philotheosopher - reply

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@Philotheosopher - 



Things have gotten better. I am still struggling with pet sins and it often overwhelms me cause it's the same sins over and over and over again.

Thank you for caring enough to ask. I have not been very active on here for a good while and I'd like to change that, but I just don't seem to write or have the clarity of thought to write like I used to.
Posted 5/11/2008 9:24 PM by Doomsayer2001 - reply


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